I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
