do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
