It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
