I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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