Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Semen is not good for contacts.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
