it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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