My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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