I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
honey bunches of taint.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
