I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Holy sore nipples Batman
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
