just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
