omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
