Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You ruined the universe
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
