i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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