We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
