Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
