If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
