Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
