If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
