I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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