You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So much rum. So many feels.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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