Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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