So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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