Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
