I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
