I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
