Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
