people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
