Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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