that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
