i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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