did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
