you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
