I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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