I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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