is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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