I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
