This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
