Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
