you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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