Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
