so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
