belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
