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we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
