I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
