also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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