there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
