There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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