Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
