Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
