I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
