so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
