Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize