I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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