I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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