How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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