Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
