you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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