it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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