I want to stick my p in your. b.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
