you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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