I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
